I grew up attending boys’ schools, where I was always surrounded by boys. I made friends with boys and spent my school and college years in all-boys environments. However, when I entered university, everything changed. There were so many girls, and I saw that everyone—both boys and girls—interact freely with each other. I felt so ashamed and awkward in these situations.
Even during classes, where some of the teachers were women, I struggled. Whenever I had to ask a question or say something, my heart would drop to the floor, my heartbeat would race, and I would start to stutter, which made me feel incredibly awkward. Because of this, I didn’t enjoy university as much as I hoped I would. Over time, things started to feel a bit more normal, and some of the female teachers were really supportive and kind to the students.
One day, a teacher assigned everyone a group project and asked us to form groups of six to complete the assignment. My anxiety immediately spiked. Despite this, I eventually managed to overcome my anxiety and complete the assignment with the group.
Some people feel different when interacting with boys versus girls. Conversations with boys might feel easy, but talking to girls can bring feelings of anxiety, discomfort, and even make you feel on guard. Understanding why this happens is the first step in managing these feelings and building more comfortable, confident relationships.
Why We Get Nervous Around Girls
Feeling anxious around girls, but not boys, can come from different reasons. Here are some common ones:
- Fear of Judgment One main reason for social anxiety is the fear of being judged or rejected. When talking to girls, you might worry more about saying the wrong thing or not being interesting enough. These worries can make you more anxious.
- Past Experiences Bad or awkward experiences with girls in the past can affect how you feel now. If you’ve faced rejection, embarrassment, or conflict before, your mind might be on alert, expecting the same thing to happen again.
- Cultural and Social Pressures Society often has different rules for how boys and girls should interact. These pressures can make you feel like you need to act a certain way, which can cause anxiety, especially if you’re unsure of what to do.
- Inexperience If you haven’t had much practice talking to girls, you might feel less confident. This lack of experience can lead to overthinking and self-doubt, which makes anxiety worse.
Physical and Emotional Reactions
When you feel anxious, your body reacts. You might notice your heart racing, sweating, or feeling heavy in your chest. Emotionally, you might feel tired, drained, or tense, as if you’re always getting ready for a problem that never comes. These reactions are normal, but they can be overwhelming and make it hard to relax and enjoy talking to others.
How to Manage Anxiety
Dealing with social anxiety, especially around girls, takes time and effort, but you can do it. Here are some tips that might help:
- Practice Mindfulness Mindfulness, like deep breathing or meditation, can calm your mind and reduce anxiety. By focusing on the present moment and not worrying about what might happen, you can feel more relaxed.
- Gradual Exposure Building comfort and confidence takes practice. Start by interacting with girls in low-pressure situations. As you get used to these interactions, your anxiety should decrease.
- Challenge Negative Thoughts Try to notice and challenge the negative thoughts that cause your anxiety. Instead of assuming things will go badly, try to think in a more positive way.
Final Thought :
Feeling more anxious around girls than boys is common, especially for those with social anxiety. By understanding the reasons behind it and taking steps to manage your anxiety, you can work toward more comfortable and enjoyable interactions. Remember, it’s a journey, and every step you take is progress.
